How's it been going

Wow, going from one child to two has totally kicked me in the rear.

Right now, Carter is playing his fourth game on the iPad, The Price is Right, and Caden is sleeping in a Boppy.  Yes, I just freely admitted that one child is on technology overload, and the other is taking an illegal nap in a nursing pillow.  (On a side note:  Carter has played The Price is Right so much that he can improv a whole episode at any random moment.  I should reprimand him when he’s throwing toys down the stairs, but how can I possibly stop his impromptu Plinko game?  He’s already won “eighty hundred thousand dollars.”)

Sitting in the middle of our flat-cushioned couch, I am in between the boys writing this blog post in a notebook while still playing an occasional game with Car and rubbing Cade’s milk-filled tummy.  (Any brownie points for that?)

The scariest thing facing me now is when Clint goes to work because I am outnumbered.  The boys either tag team or join forces in battles against my sanity.  Their weapons come out in the form of whining/crying.  I can only laugh and/or cry at these times. Mostly it’s laughter followed by a desperate prayer for God to pretty please fill me up. 

I also notice that I am often questioning my job as a good mom.  I think in order to compensate for this lack of confidence, I give myself and race to complete numerous tasks that eat away every free moment available.  I then get extremely burned out with little feeling of achievement.

All things considered, I’m looking forward to learning to rely on God during this transitional time for our family.  In Psalm 131, God (via David) gives me a funny and ironic visual for the state he wants me in during especially overwhelming times:

O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;

My eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD

from this time forth and forevermore.

(“Like a weaned child.”  How can I not smile at that right now?  Side note #2:  Caden is a nursing machine; it’s insane.) 

Confidence, humility, satisfaction, hope.  Bring it, God.  I’m ready…and in need.